Dating Down

Pardon me if this post may seem a bit prodigious and off beat from my usual content, but I can’t help myself from sharing what’s on my heart. Nonetheless, I’m here to comment on a trend that I believe has occurred ever since Eve managed to make the greatest mistake that lead to the fall of man—Insecurity. That doubtful voice that seems to have so much to say about the way we see, think and feel about ourselves. It’s what makes me reach for a blazer that downplays my gorgeous sleeveless dress, because I can’t bear for the world to see my sepia toned stretch marks across my arms. It’s what makes me back down from applying for the position that I am underqualified for, but totally up to the task. And unfortunately, insecurity is the plague that seems to toil with the hearts of any 20 to 30 something-year old who spends their Saturday nights dreaming up the perfect guy/girl and realizing that settling for a much lesser version is better than wishing for someone who looks like Beyoncé, handles her business like Oprah and loves the Lord like Sarah Jakes Roberts (or the guy who looks like Michael B. Jordan, handles his business like Warren Buffett and loves the Lord like Cornelius Lindsey).

I don’t know who to blame for giving up on the vision for the “perfect guy/girl”, but whoever they are, I demand answers. Pardon my seemingly-naïve tone, but I am convinced that the perfect guy for me, does exist. See what I did there? The perfect guy for ME. Because to generally say that a perfect guy or girl exists is impossible, not because someone can’t have all of the solid values, dashing looks and financial status we all desire, but because even that guy may make jokes that I can’t seem to find funny and speaks a different language I never learned in high school (it was either French or Spanish).

It irks me that we are all told to be more realistic, as if being realistic means trading in your desire for God’s very best, for your auntie’s husband’s friend’s son, who’s breath is consistently hot and foul…and who’s lips are in dire need of Carmex, Blistex, Vaseline--- heck he needs ‘em all… I digress. No but really, can we stop settling?! Whether you’re 21 or 31, there’s a Godly standard that needs defending and honoring. We shouldn’t allow the major insecurities that plague are minds or the invitation to be yet again another bridesmaid, to snatch up our contentment. So what, you have 27 bridesmaid’s dresses and you have 12 specific boards on Pinterest dedicated to your future wedding? (I’m not judging---guilty!) Let’s not allow these external factors to disrupt our inner peace and contentment. And for real ladies and guys, let’s not date down just to let the time go by. We shouldn’t allow our insecurities to dictate who we date and when we date. All things—all things work out for the good. So slow it down, and don’t be so quick to settle for less than best, just to tick off the “marriage” box on your perfect 5-year plan.

Hang in there. God’s Perfection for you is on its way.


MsYenckodating, marriage, love