What's in Front of you?
If you're anything like me, you enjoy planning and setting goals. I mean I love going to Target and buying a new planner, or calendar. I love sitting down with a hot cup of tea with 10 different colored pens and planning out my days to the very detail. If you ask my brother, he would find my obsessive and weird craving for planning-- as a painstaking obligation, and is totally turned off by the idea of using a daily planner. I, on the other hand do not know how to function without planning and setting goals. I used to pride myself in this habit, but over the last few months, I've realized what a burden I've allowed myself to carry.The pride I once had in overcoming my "control freak" mentality, quickly slipped back into my life a few months before finishing graduate school. Here I was, about to complete one chapter and head to the other. Everyone wanted to know what plans I had-- "where will you work?", "where do you plan to live", "what specialty do you want to practice in?" , "when do you plan on getting married?". PHEW. I mean, these questions often came from people who genuinely care for me, so i did not initially feel any pressure. In fact, I would actually ask myself those questions and wrestle with "whatever God wills, but let me at least plan the next few months, then God can take it from there". I know, I know-- but don't act like you don't do the same! We all think that we should at least be able to plan out the next few months, so we don't seem like irresponsible adults, but I found that even in drafting and planning out those months, I had so much pride. It was a false sense of security that I am ashamed to say that I bought into. I would pray that I wanted the will of God to reign, but at the same time, I had all these expectations and specific demands that had to happen by June 15th or July 31st or September 1st.
Let's just say, I made a complete spectacle of myself, and soon realized that my plans meant nothing to the will of God. We can't say we want God's will, and then go on planning these intricate non-flexible plans, thinking that God won't wreck them. Because friends, God certainly wrecked my plans. It dawned on me a few weeks ago, after waking up with a burden to just shut off my phone for the day and talk to God, that I had never actually taken the time to ponder God's own vision for my life.
Some of us have no clue how to even discover God's vision, because we are so cluttered with our own plans and lives, that we never know how to just shut things off and pay attention to what is already around us. I literally shut my phone off and spent the entire morning with God. Soon enough, this is what the Lord led me to create....
I quickly wiped off my chalkboard, grabbed an old notepad and a pen. Quickly, my mind started spilling with vision, dreams, goals, sayings, post ideas-- I mean so many things were just flowing. All because I took the time to simply LISTEN to God. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have goals, dreams or visions, but without the communion of God-- and dare I say, the Holy Spirit, it's an impossible feat to actually achieve the things you write down.
"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." -Habbakuk 2:3