Delayed & Denied
I woke up this morning with a burden to talk about this issue of feeling delayed. I know I've spoken here and there about what it feels to have everyone moving forward in life, and feeling like you are behind. I'd like to revisit this topic and hopefully offer a resting shoulder of support if you are feeling delayed and/or denied.
There is nothing worse than being 5 years post-grad and feeling like not much has happened. Meanwhile, your former classmates have graduated from med school, law school and are at the top of their game in their careers. You see TravelNoire feature your counterparts frolicking around the colorful streets of Rio De Janeiro while you cannot seem to find the time to leave your small town. You feel stuck. Uninspired and weary of being here. This place between equipped for better, but without better. You try to watch motivational speeches, even pop in a sermon or podcast to try and maintain your spirt, but still nothing seems to help. Being in a steady relationship is a distant reality as you feel like you do not have much to offer another person. So instead, your weekends are filled with binge watching shows, scrolling through timelines and random bar crawls with the same circle of people who are exactly where you are. You hear that better days are ahead, but it's been 1, 2-- heck 5 years, and better days have yet to come.
Homie, I feel you. The weight of feeling like somehow God has pushed a pause button on your life is a heavy one. My heart actually aches with you because being in this space is incredibly disempowering and frustrating. I won't even bore you with another "change is gonna come" speech or plant fluffy acronyms for you to remember. All I can say, all I can tell you is that God's delay, does not equate denial. Now I know, I know-- you think I am speaking from a "privileged" position right? Let me share with you that I have tasted delay and it felt like denial. I remember failing one of the biggest exams of my life-- you know the one that gives me the license to actually work? Yeah. I felt so disappointed in myself. I felt like I had given God a reason to hit that pause button on my life and that every thing that I had worked for I no longer deserved.
BUT, thank God for that delay. Yep-- if it were not for that delay, that sting of feeling dormant and unfulfilled, I would have never known how to become resilient and endure. I was without paid-work for 7 months and humbly learned so many lessons. I learned to lean on God more, feed my spirit with His word and work on the relationships in my life. What I am saying is that though we see delay as denial, and denial as a permanent state-- God purposefully and intentionally causes deliberate delays.
Though we see delay as denial, and denial as a permanent state-- God purposefully and intentionally causes deliberate delays.
In Ezekiel 12:21-28, God speaks to Ezekiel and address the pitiful state of the nation of Israel. People have considered them a forgotten people. Rumors have begun that their visions don't amount to anything. Everyone looks at them with disdain. Truth is, when you've been stuck where you are in delay and denial, wether you realize it, people are thinking the same about you. Maybe your close friends feel guilty inviting you to events anymore or are distant towards you because you are delayed. This is the same situation here with Israel. BUT, God in His perfect sovereignty states the following:
If you've been looking for a bridge to cross over your troubled season, here it is. If you've been seeking confirmation, here it is. These scriptures are so uplifting, because it is clear that God is aware of the delay and denial, but in His sovereignty, the wait is over and God's words over your life do not go void. God is going to flip over the rumors and naysayers in such a glorious way. So, take ownership of your season of deliberate delay or denial-- grow spiritually, nurture your relationships and prepare for your NEXT.
God doesn't waste pain. I promise you, it'll be worth it.
Grace & Peace,